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“Single ___ Female”

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Johanna writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

I met a girl in class about 2 weeks ago and she was funny and cool.  We hung out after class and were killing ourselves laughing.  So we hung out again the next day and before I knew it we’d hung out everyday that week.  When we weren’t hanging out we were texting.  After about a week it got to be a bit much for me since I normally don’t spend that much time with anybody.  Not even my boyfriend.  So I just kinda fell back a bit.  Here’s where it gets crazy.  She continued to text me and the texts started going from things like “Hey where’s my bestie?” to “WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING ME??”.  What took the cake was someone called me and said she was a friend of Nedda’s (the creepy girl) from class and said Nedda told her to call me because she was worried about our friendship.  Is it just me or is it EXTREMELY creepy that this girl tried to have an intervention over a friendship that was only 2 weeks old?

DEVIL’S RESPONSE:

It ain’t just you, honey.  That sounds like some “Single (insert ethnicity here) Female” shit to me!  You need to tell somebody you know who lives close to you what’s going on in case homegirl shows up at your place looking just like you; busting your boyfriend in the eye with the silver heel of a stiletto and throwing your puppy out the window!

ANGEL’S RESPONSE:

Although it is natural for someone to feel a sense of abandonment when you establish a pattern and then suddenly veer from it the “red flag” on the play comes in with how Nedda’s handling her feelings.  In her mind perhaps she’s just being honest and letting you know how she really feels.  But it may come across to you as creepy or too intense.  The polite thing to do is tell her why you’ve chosen to take space from your friendship.  That may assuage some of her creepy behavior.  For her sake you also might want to tell her that the whole intervention and barrage of texts creeped you out.  She genuinely may not know that her behavior is stalker-esque.

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