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Mona writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

My friend Fabio and I have been friends for 6 years.  When we 1st met we tried to date but I knew it wouldn’t work out when we tried to have sex and it was terrible to say the least.  He was small even though it was uncircumcised, it was all very mechanical and it honestly made me question his sexuality.  Definitely among the top 3 worst sexual experiences I’ve EVER had.  I didn’t hold it against him as a person but I knew he just wasn’t for me.  Over the years we’ve remained plutonic friends and hung out off and on.  He invited me to a big dinner party recently with some of his friends from Italy and as soon as I got there he’s all octopus-hands.  He’s kissing my cheek, my neck, touching my bottom and thighs.  He was obviously trying to make it seem like we were a couple and would say things to his friends in Italian and then grope me.  They were a bunch of old guys with pretty young girls who obviously were hired for the night.  I was trying not to cause a scene and politely remove his hands everytime he groped me.  But finally I just said, “ENOUGH!”  That’s when the evil Fabio-demon came out:  he said that I wasn’t saying that when he was fucking my brains out and told me that  he wasn’t going to pay for a girl who was being such a prude.  And he actually asked me for half the money to pay the bill!!  The next day he called to apologize but told me I was out of line for talking to him like that in front of his friends.  I felt no need to apologize and the damage to our friendship is irreparable.  Am I wrong here?

DEVIL’S RESPONSE:

Many down low homosexuals feel the need to put on airs around friends and family that expect them to be straight.  Perhaps he’s used to paying for sex the way his friends do to accomplish this and has fallen on hard times.  You know the economy is still upside down.  So  what do you do when you can’t afford your own?:  borrow from a friend.  He thought it was understood (even though he’s garbage in bed and probably gay) that you would play along.  WRONG-OLA!  So he felt the need to further prove that his hooded clitoris was actually an uncircumcised penis by getting all King Kong when you checked him like the bitch he truly is.  It’s just so sad…  But you can’t fight that battle for him.  Just send him a sweet text that says: “In the World of Today, It’s Ok to Be Gay.”  Pray for him and keep moving.  He gets a pink slip!

ANGEL’S RESPONSE:

This “friend” of yours doesn’t seem to have very much respect for women!  He seems to be caught up in the stereotypical Italian “machismo”.  You don’t want someone in your life that disrespects you just to gain the approval of his other friends.  An apology after the fact especially such a disingenuous one as “I’m sorry but you should be too” doesn’t deserve acceptance.  What happens next time you try to set boundaries with him?  A person like that is dangerous to your emotional health to say the least.  He also needs to see a therapist to work out his mommy issues:  generally people who have no respect for women have these issues.

 

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