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Helen writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

My mom and I have uncannily similar voices.  If she’s ever at my house and answers the phone she has to stop my friends before they reveal too much.  We’re also very close so we talk about everything.  Well I started dating a guy a few months ago and my mother simply doesn’t like him.  She doesn’t like the he doesn’t have a steady job and she thinks he’s not attractive enough for me.  Well we strongly disagree because I have no problems with him in these areas.  However it’s been a point of contention ever since I 1st told her about the guy.  Well I hadn’t heard from the guy in about a week and that wasn’t normal so I reached out to him asking if everything was ok and he was furious.  He told me that I said horrible things to him about being a deadbeat and unattractive and how I was too good for him.  And how dare I call him and try to act like that’s ok.  I was mortified because I immediately knew he’d called and that my mother had spoken to him pretending to be me!!!  I confronted my mother about it and she just shrugged it off and told me she was doing me a favor and that I would understand and thank her for it later.  I’m an adult woman!!!!!  She was so terribly wrong!!!  What do I do?

DEVIL’S RESPONSE:

Go to your mom’s house and tell her that you thought about it and decided she was right but that you still need some time to get over him and just need a change of scenery for a couple of days to do so.  Ask to stay with her.  She’ll understand.  Moms always do.  While you’re there call every one of her friends pretending to be her of course and tell them what fat, nasty bitches they are (even the men if she has male friends); how you’ve put up with the burden of their friendship long enough; and that you never want to speak to or see them again unless it’s at their funeral to make sure they’re dead.  Throw in a few curse words for good measure.  Once you’ve gotten through the list go to your mom and say, “Thanks so much for being there for me mom.  I feel so much better.”  Then go home.

You’re welcome.

ANGEL’S RESPONSE:

Your mother is definitely wrong on so many levels.  1)Pretending to be you could be considered a felony  2) You’re an adult woman and she crossed the line by making a decision for you when she knew for sure you felt the opposite way  3) Her shrugging it off is a sense of entitlement that some parent wrongly assume.  Ask her how it would feel if you carried out the scenario that the DEVIL suggested.  Let her know that you felt betrayed and hurt that she would go behind your back and do something like that and then set a boundary by not letting her answer your phone.  If she cares for you at all she will want to make things right and one very good way to do that is to call the guy you’re dating and have her confess to and apologize for what she did.

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