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Pomp and Shady Circumstance

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Poncey Writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

I’m a minister.  Kathy, an acquaintance of mine recently reached out to me for a recommendation letter for Christian Boarding school for her daughter.  I agreed to write the letter but have been really busy and haven’t had time this whole week to take care of it.  Kathy called and asked me to get the letter to her within the next 2 days and told me that she really wanted to get her daughter into the school because her daughter has been very promiscuous and thought her daughter may be pregnant.  She wanted to get her daughter enrolled in this school so her daughter would have a chance at getting into a good college.  Kathy knows the school upholds strict Christian values and feels that now while she’s not sure if her daughter is pregnant is the time to send in the letter that way her conscious is clear.  The problem is that as a minister I also uphold strict Christian values and knowing this new information puts me in an awkward position.  I now do not want to write the letter.  But at this point because I’ve waited so long she has not other alternatives.

DEVIL’S RESPONSE:

Very simple, Pastor.  If you waited until the last minute you owe her a letter.  Send the following letter and Kathy can decide if she wants to use it or not:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to recommend that you admit (whatever the little ‘ho’s name is here) to your school.  Unfortunately her mother did not inform me that the little heifer might be pregnant until I’d already agreed to write the letter to you all (she’ll burn for that).  But what better way to learn about resisting temptation than to have Jezebel herself present in every class as a reminder of what going down the wrong path looks like.  As a minister I do not condone un-Saintly behavior but if the actions of one can be used as an example to save the masses I believe it’s worth the price of admission.  Don’t you agree?

In Jesus’ name,

Pastor Poncey

ANGEL’S RESPONSE:

As a minister you are expected to uphold certain standards.  Kathy should understand this even if she’s  not very religious.  Explain to her that as a man leading a flock everything you do is watched closely as you are constantly setting an example for your congregation.  Tell her that knowing this new bit of information puts you in a very awkward position and that you simply cannot endorse someone’s admission into a school with the knowledge that they have already broken the rules.  On her end the promiscuity and possible pregnancy was something she should have brought up when she first asked you to write the letter not 2 days before she expected it back.  So not having any alternatives at this point is more her fault than yours.  She should never have put you in this position in the first place.

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