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Elaina writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

About 5 years ago I went to visit my mother for Thanksgiving.  She generally has quite a house full and everyone just cozies up and has a great time.  I had been sick most of the year and was looking forward to being with family because I knew it would make me feel better. Well a distant cousin came to Thanksgiving and just would NOT stop taking pictures and video of me.  I was so uncomfortable! Everytime I turned around there was a camera shoved in my face.  I couldn’t relax and I did not enjoy my holiday. She made me feel completely violated in what was supposed to be a safe space.  She was even hiding around corners and would jump out with a camera and surprise me on my way to or from the bathroom in the morning.  Beyond the fact that she captured me at my most unflattering moments was the fact that she was acting like the F*%$!#@ paparazzi.  I didn’t want to be rude to her in my mother’s house but it has really bothered me a lot over the past 5 years to the point where I do not want to stay at my mother’s house during Thanksgiving because I never know who’s going to be there or if I’ll be violated like Alison violated me. I also don’t pose for photos or allow people to video me.  I recently told my mother about this but is it worth writing a letter to the offender?


1st off your cousin sounds like a creepy ass stalker!!  Let’s just get that out of the way.  But to answer your question:  What’s the point now?!  Why do people always wait until way after the fact to bring sh*t up??  That is so annoying!—  YES write her a letter and tell her that she violated you 5 years ago by acting like some child predator with a camera.  She’ll either apologize or laugh her ass off.


Well I think you just did..  You could perhaps post this specific blog somewhere and refer her to it.  But at this point it’s been 5 years.  Let by-gones be by-gones.  During the holidays people take pictures.  It sounds like she went waaaay overboard and I’m not sure the exact reason why but it’s not totally abnormal to have more photos taken of you during the holidays.  Because she is family at some point you will see her again.  And given her obsessive nature she will probably want to take photos with you again.  That would be the perfect opportunity to decline and let her know the reason why.

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