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Aw Shit, Shinobi!!!!!

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Shinobi writes:

Dear Deviled Angel,

Let me say 1st that I’ve been single for quite a while so I never take a guy for granted.  I met a guy who was handsome-ish who asked me out on a date.  He took me to a nice restaurant and we were having lovely conversation until I noticed as he was gesticulating with his hands that he was missing his thumb on his right hand!!  Now of course I didn’t want to be rude but my eyes were glued to that nub the whole time he was talking and moving his hands around.  I just couldn’t help it!  I guess he noticed me looking at the nub instead of him because he put his hands in his lap.  After a few more moments of awkward conversation.  He says, “Did I ever tell you I lost my thumb in an accident?”  Then (my stomach is turning even as I replay this in my head) he pulls his nubby hand out and wiggles it around on the table right in front of me all while giving me this intense creepy stare and goes, “RAAAAHHHHHH  LOOK AT THAT!!!  IT’S WEIRD, HUH????!!!!  RAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”  Oh..My..GOD!  I felt like I was on a date with somebody’s creepy grandpa!  I was soooo done!  The whole rest of the date was awkward and when he walked me to my car I offered a hug because I felt bad.  But when he pulled away, held me by my waist with one hand and then did that motion where you tap your lips for a kiss but he did it SUPER awkward:  He scrunched up his shoulders, squinted his eyes, was shaking and tapping his lips very rapidly and repeatedly.  I couldnt’ hide the disgust on my face as I said, “Next time..”, pushed him away,  jumped in my car and drove off like I was in a car chase.  It was  a reeeeeally bad 1st date.  Am I shallow for not wanting to give him another chance?  Am I telling the universe that I don’t want a man by not exploring the possibilities of what it sends me?  Am I a bitch for not even returning his calls?

DEVIL’S RESPONSE:

Aw shit, Shinobi!!!  I don’t see how you even stayed on that date after the “attack of the gimpy claw”!  If he was trying to scare you I would have obliged his ass and got up running and screaming out of the restaurant.  You went above and beyond exploration of possibility when you finished that frickin’ date!  Maybe you are shallow and maybe you are a bitch but think about it:  you’re out at the park with Big Daddy One-Thumb holding hands and your thumb is hanging in the wind cuz it doesn’t have a digit to lock onto… is that fair to your thumb?…I. Think. Not.  I’d take the shallow bitch scenario over that any day.

ANGEL’S RESPONSE:

Obviously there’s still quite a bit of insecurity surrounding his missing digit or else his reaction to you noticing it would not have been so extreme.  And the “palsy” at the end with the whole kiss thing sounds like immaturity.  A real man would either simply ask for a kiss or go in for it and accept the response from the girl either way.  So choosing not to date a man with obvious insecurity and immaturity is not shallow at all.  You gave him a shot.  He blew it.  End of story.

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