Dear Deviled Angel,
My boss KEEPS hating on me. I’m not after the man’s job. I don’t even want to work in this department and he KNOWS that. Man! It’s like everything I say is wrong. If we have a meeting every idea I have he shoots it down in front of everybody. Everytime I try to put in for a transfer he won’t even submit it he just tells me “no”. I’m about to lose it on this dude, man! Gimme somethin‘!
Communication is key! It’s all about getting information. That diffuses any situation. I suggest pulling your boss aside during one of those meetings you were talking about and then asking in your loudest voice, “Why are you such a BITCH-ASS BOSS?” When he stammers for a response follow your 1st mind and go ahead and lose it on the dude. Make sure you write back and tell us about it. God, I love a good fight!..
Jealousy comes in many forms and for a variety of reasons. Perhaps your boss is not worried about you stealing his job but is simply jealous of your ambition. He may feel that he can do more or reach a higher level than he’s currently at and isn’t motivated to do so right now. But instead of figuring out a way to motivate himself and push forward he’s resigned himself to being miserable where he is. And what does misery love??… You guessed it: Company! So he feels the need to hold you back from the things you desire. In this case you are well within your rights to go over his head. You’ve tried the appropriate measures (i.e. submitting ideas/transfers through him) to no avail. So now explain what you’re feeling to HIS superior and ask her/him how you can submit your ideas and transfer some other way.
Dear Deviled Angel,
I’ve been with my company for nearly 3 years. I consistently deliver and it has been unabashedly shared that our very quick success has in large part been due to my contributions. A few months ago, I sat down with my boss to talk about a raise. After several conversations (i.e. you absolutely deserve it, what would we have done without you), I received less than half of what I asked for. And today I receive an email from my boss announcing 8 promotions, including someone who is not senior to me… Really?!… No wait: REALLY??!! Before I set the building on fire then write my resigfuckingnation any suggestions, Oh Wise One?
Yes! And this is very important: you must write your resignation BEFORE you set the building on fire. It makes no sense to char-grill the company and have everybody think it was a freak accident. You have a point to make here! I won’t tell you how to go about burning down the house and rob you of your last contribution of creative genius to your oh-so-grateful company. But I will offer three words of advice: Gas, Oh, Lean!
Unfortunately in the workforce just as in relationships people often tend to lose themselves; or at least their sense of value. Your boss agreeing that you were instrumental in the success of the company but refusing to compensate you is akin to a boyfriend telling his girl she’s the best thing that ever happened to him but refusing to put a ring on it. When you are brave enough approach your boss, let him know that in light of all that has happened you just don’t feel valued at the company and would like to amicably part ways to seek work in an environment where your skill set would be more appreciated. Ask for a recommendation and simply take the stand of walking away (without burning down the building). Just as in a relationship if you are truly an asset sooner or later you will be sorely missed. At that time you can demand the raise you initially sought. But be mentally and financially prepared in case that time never comes. Trust your skill-set and have the confidence of knowing it can be useful somewhere else!
Dear Deviled Angel,
I have such a huge crush on my boss! He’s not married or anything and everyday he walks by I just get goosebumps. When he stops and talks to me I just feel lightheaded. And I can hardly look at him because my eyes swell up with nervous tears! I want to let him know how I feel about him but I don’t want to be inappropriate. I also don’t know how he feels about me.. Heeeelllp!
DEVIL’S RESPONSE: Sounds like you have more of an allergic reaction to this man than a crush! My advice to you is to quit before you have some kind of stroke or something. And as far as how he feels about you.. let me put it this way. If everytime I walked by a broad she damn near broke out in hives and had all the allergic reactions you just described I’d think she has some kinda herpa-hepa-gonno-syphil-AIDS and stay the hell away from her!!
ANGEL’S RESPONSE: Wow your crush sounds pretty serious especially since it’s causing you all of that nervousness and anxiety. I think you need to take a step back and really evaluate the situation after taking some MAJOR deep breaths. Workplace relationships can be tricky. Make a list of all the things you like about this man. Then decide if you just admire him or if you really like him. Picture yourself in a relationship with him and ask yourself what he would be able to provide you in a relationship and vice versa. Then weigh out whether having a relationship with this man is worth compromising your job! Because that will happen in some way: whether it’s hearing gossip, having him not respond favorably thus creating an awkwardness between you, or one or both of you having to switch positions (sometimes this happens to make sure the work is not compromised by the realtionship), etc. In the meantime keep some sort of antihistamine in your desk drawer.