Dear Deviled Angel,
My girlfriend is dope. But her breath smells like someone with crap on their shoes took a walk on her tongue. She’s awesome in every other way. But I’m tired of holding my breath when I kiss her. It’s not a total deal breaker but it’s pretty close. How do we fix this?
My man here’s a little trivia for you: A woman’s sense of smell is like 30% stronger than a man’s. So if YOU’RE offended by your girlfriend’s breath she must be KILLING her girlfriends…if she has any. If she does have girlfriends they hate her because no true girlfriend is gonna let you go see your man when your breath smells like dead babies… But I digress… Here’s what you do. Get her in private and say, “Look my love there’s obviously a shit-shoed step team stomping it out on your tongue. And they’re really competing with our intimacy. I love you too much to let them win so this is for your own good….” Then pull out a Super Soaker filled with Listerine and Let. Her. Have. It.!!!
Often people think halitosis is a result of not brushing enough. But several factors could be at work: 1) Diet 2) Not eating at the right time 3) Sinus problems 4) Gum disease just to name a few. The cure really depends on the cause. Brushing twice a day, flossing and using a tongue scraper is the 1st thing to try. If she’s doing that and halitosis is still a problem I suggest researching a really good dentist. A dentist should be able to treat the halitosis or recommend a physician if the cause of the problem is out of his scope of expertise. But helping your girlfriend through this process in lieu of abandoning her is truly a gift.