Dear Deviled Angel,
I have these two friends in college and they’re pretty cool. They recently started letting me hang out with them which is really cool! But the last few times we went out were weird. We went to a club and they asked me to pull up so they could get out and then told me to park the car and meet them inside. Then when I got inside they asked me to watch their bags and coats while they danced. We went to lunch and they said we should all take turns paying and since I was new that I should go first. I didn’t feel right about it but I did it anyway. We haven’t gone out again so I don’t know for sure if they’re using me. But what do you think?
Once there was a nerdy little boy who wanted to be friends with the popular kid on his block. The popular kid said “Sure! In fact let’s play one of my favorite games.. I’ll hold out my fist and you run into it as hard as you can.” ”I dunno” said the nerdy kid. ”C’mooon,” cajoled the popular kid, “It’ll be fun!” So after a few rounds of the game the nerdy kid standing on his wobbly legs and looking through his good eye finally turned to the popular kid and said, “You know what? This doesn’t feel so good. I don’t think I want to be your friend anymore.” Then he passed out. The moral of the story is: If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it, dumb ass!!…’fore you pass out!!
It’s so difficult to avoid the temptation of “fitting in” but if it’s at the expense of your self-worth…is it worth it? We tend to attract people to us that value us as much (or as little) as we value ourselves. It sounds like these girls are using you. And the fact that you have allowed it is an indicator light that something within you needs fixing. You should take some time to work on your self esteem and build yourself up so you don’t need the approval of the outside world to feel good about yourself. Then you’ll realize that people like these girls who treat you badly simply aren’t worth your time. There are a number of self-help books and many colleges offer counseling if you need to get to the core of some deep seeded issue. Or simply try hanging out with girls who respect you and treat you accordingly.